This August, Henry returned to school with one year of preschool under his belt. Last year, he was in a class of 13 kids. This year, eight of those same kids returned. These are his “old friends.” But there are also 13 new kids in his class – “new friends.”
Before the start of school, we did a lot of talking about these new friends, and how they would need someone to help them know where the toys are, how to do the classroom jobs, and what to do at snack time. This was Henry’s opportunity to be a helper, to be a good friend.
When we are comfortable where we are, we forget what it is like to be the new kid. We go to church and sit on the same row with the same people, find “our” table in the breakroom at work, and hang out with the same handful of comfortable friends. And believe me, I understand. I personally love being comfortable.
But I also know what it’s like to be the new kid.
I know what it’s like to move to a city where I had no friends or family – twice. I know what it’s like to search for a job when I have no local connections on my resume. I remember the feeling of sitting in a very full room and feeling very lonely.
So, here’s the challenge for those of us who are comfortable where we are – actively seek out those who are new, and make them feel welcome. And may I say – ahem – this takes more than just a handshake during the greeting time at church. Invite her (or her family) to lunch after church. Get her number and call her or text her during the week. Invite the new mom to go to the park with you and your kids. Ask the new coworker to chat with you over coffee. Whatever you like to do, chances are they will enjoy it as well.
It’s hard being the new kid, whether you are four or 40. It means so much when someone takes time out of their busy day to make you feel a part of the group.
And if YOU are the new kid? May I tell you something? It will get better. Keep trying. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Keep showing up, even when you would rather stay at home. Eventually, this place will be comfortable too.
Beth Holmes 
Being the new kid is not easy! I have started several new jobs due to downsizing in the past. Trying to fit in, or become a “part of the team” is difficult and lonely at times.
I am one that doesn’t like to step out of my comfort zone. I also like to be comfortable. My new goal will be to see out the “new kid” and strive to make them feel welcome!
Thanks for the reminder Beth!
Thank you for being MY friend!! 🙂
Nice blog. We’re glad you, Chris and Henry are here in Owensboro. I hope we have always made you feel welcome and a part of our church family. I’m sorry we’ve been too “busy” to spend more time with you guys.
Beth,
I hope you are well, my friend, and adjusted to the fall schedule. I am still working on that!
I have been thinking about you and writing and want to encourage you.
First of all, your post last week about generosity came to me in a very timely manner. I had just that morning written out a list of needs and specifically asked God for each one. My heart was wrestling with stingy, worrisome thoughts as I presented our needs to Him. Being reminded of generosity in that moment was so life-giving to me! He is a generous God and I am His and surely there is enough, enough to give in the face of need. He is and we are. One by one, I am seeing Him check off the boxes of that list, and check my heart’s fears full with His Goodness.
I remember at the beginning of the summer you wrote about taking a break and wondered if your words meant anything to anyone else. (I can’t remember if you came out and said that, or I read between the lines as a fellow writer with the same feelings.) I have thoughts on this – our struggle for finding words and a voice and significance – and want to get them down… will you bear with me? 😊
It seems to me your writing voice is very simple in tone and thought. Some people might say that is a negative thing. Some people may not show interest in simplicity. But I think it is a good thing. I think God made you as a straight-forward thinker who doesn’t bother with frills, bells and whistles. If that is how God made you, it is by design. It is good. Yay for just being you!
The last couple years I’ve wrestled with simple thoughts too. I think simplicity is actually one of the greatest gifts God could impart to a very complicated world. I think the gospel in its purest form is incredibly simple. I think God’s love is simple. I mean, if we really believed to the core that God is love, and that God loves us, this world would be radically different. (Right?) And that is as simple as it gets. I think He loves revealing His complexity to some people and His simplicity to other people… or maybe in different seasons people’s lives… I don’t know. All this to say, I think there is great merit to your words and your voice. I believe God is speaking to you and if you find life in writing, He made you to write, so just keep doing it. I tell myself this over and over – I don’t write for others. I write because God made me to write. I know this because when I write, I feel His pleasure, and I can handle life better. It doesn’t matter if no one reads it. It only matters that I’m faithful to be myself, and thus faithful to Him, the One who created me.
Of course, I’ve hardly written a thing in months. Ugh. It is such a struggle, why is it such a struggle???
Anyway, all that to say, thank you for being you, Beth! You are perfectly made! In whatever season of life and writing you are in, be encouraged! God is so pleased with you, if I may say so!
And if this doesn’t resonate with you or offends you, then throw it in the trash bin and forgive me. 😊
Thanks at least for helping me process my thoughts!
Richly,
Rachel